Lets finish this thing off. 50 - 1.
50.) Everyone smokes. You smoke. You just aren’t aware that you do and just how cool it makes you look.
49.) Harrison Ford should never be allowed to operate any motorized form of transportation. He will either crash it, smash it into bad guys and their vehicles or let the piece of machinery slip into complete disarray.
48.) Mel Brooks is funny. He is funnier, by far, than salad.
47.) It is possible to be completely creepy and utterly cool at the same amount of time. See Christopher Walken.
46.) Despite what you think, guns are not reloadable. When your gun runs out of bullets you will need to throw it away and get a new one.
45.) If you are ever going to eat another humans liver, try it with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
44.) All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Dull means crazy incase you didn’t catch that.
43.) Don’t ever swim in the ocean or any bay arena or water that is open to the sea. There are sharks in there. Also don’t swim in pools because there might be a hidden door that will let sharks into the pool. It’s better to just never swim.
42.) If you kill Santa Claus and wear his clothing you will get fat and hairy.
41.) Painting a fence and waxing a car will make you a yellow belt ninja. No one will be able to touch you.
40.) During the 80s everything was made of clay.
39.) The best lawyer assistants are the ones who are sassy, boarding on arrogant and have large breasts.
38.) We have the technology to switch faces but Weird Al Yankovic is sticking with the one his momma gave him.
37.) The killer from Friday the 13th will never stay dead. You cannot beat him so just let him kill you and lets get on with it. Also Freddy from Nightmare on Elm Street is the basically in the same boat.
36.) There will always be another Star Trek Movie. Just wait a couple more years and they will make another one.
35.) A child that has been left alone in his house or a large city without his parents will undoubtedly take out a pair of seasoned criminals.
34.) Sylvester Stallone is romantic. He is romantic right in your face.
33.) Dinosaurs are dangerous. We should not try to clone any. That would be stupid. Very, very, very Stupid.
32.) When babies disappear they aren’t abducted; they go to a fair away place to battle a moronic pirate who is afraid of crocodiles.
31.) Anyone woman who witnesses a tragic event, such as her family getting killed in front of her, will automatically develop loose morals and begin many sexual relationships.
30.) The government and large corporations all hate the environment, no exclusions.
29.) Barb Wire got funding. Hollywood will make almost any script that they see. All you have to do is give them any reason to make it, any reason at all.
28.) If you are an underdog who is way over matched but you got a lot of heart you can beat basically anything including a Sherman tank in a fistfight.
27.) In both movies and war, more people die the higher the budget is.
26.) For some reason in the 60s and 70s people would spontaneously burst into big band songs during daily life. Oddly enough everyone knew the words to the songs.
25.) Morgan Freeman is the most patient individual of all time.
24.) Somewhere in a forest in England there are a bunch of men running around in green tights stealing from corrupt wealthy people.
23.) In the future robots will look like people and we will hate them for a variety of reasons. We will also make clones and hate them as well.
22.) People who break the law are awesome!
21.) The aliens have moved into the deepest part of the ocean.
20.) Clint Eastwood will eventually shoot everyone with a pistol.
19.) Snakes do not fly well.
18.) There is someone somewhere right now who is stealing your identity or hacking into a government website.
17.) At a certain age all old people become crazy to a certain extent. It’s okay though, they enjoy life more then.
16.) Ghost’s don’t like it when your house is over their burial site, you marry their spouse or you don’t acknowledge them.
15.) If at first you barely succeed try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try again.
14.) God wants the band to get back together.
13.) If your kid gets a Red Ryder BB gun then he will shoot his eye out.
12.) If you build it… the weirdest possible thing will happen.
11.) Kevin Costner has no emotions.
10.) All buildings spend copious amounts of money on oversized ventilation shafts. These are perfect for both hiding and a means of transportation within the building.
9.) The only way two police partners are going to be effective is if they in no way like each other and are complete opposites or at the very least completely opposite in their personalities.
8.) In order to travel in a straight line in a car, it is imperative to pull the steering wheel from side to side in two second increments.
7.) If you have on your person or on a dashboard a picture of a loved one during war, your going to die.
6.) There are many dials, knobs and gauges on a plane. You only need 3 of these to land. The rest are for show.
5.) If you want to know if someone is evil let either your dog or your child near them. The dog will bark and the child will just know.
4.) Knives, chainsaws and other various tools of defense will be strewn about your path when a murderer is chasing you.
3.) A trained marshal arts professional such as Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee can take on in excess of 650 lesser martial artists at a given time. The other guys can even have weapons such as spears, swords and small missile launchers.
2.) A tough man can be beat about the face with a metal pipe but will cry, whine and swear when a beautiful woman touches a wound with a damp cloth.
1.) The police will never find who killed your mom, dad, sister, dog, cat, brother, child, grandmother, cousin, roommate or canary. It is up to you to find justice.